"I Hate This Cover of the Month", September, 2012

Wow, um, these covers don't scream Young Adult book at me. It kind of says that these guys are coming to throw a G-string in my face. After I've shoved some filthy lucre into their...something. It looks like they're a few strippers short of taking this show on the road:

Plus, whenever I see these covers, I go to the bad place. Well, the Bad Place #107, where this song is playing on an endless loop and I'm afraid to sit anywhere, and I'm looking for my wipes/alcohol hand sanitizer. And hoping the sticky stuff I just got on my hand was gum.

Oh, the next reason why these books are my "I Hate This Cover of the Month" will be brought to you by Anderson Cooper. Because someone's nipple (and I'm looking at you, dude, standing towards the front of the cover) just poked me in the eye.

This is Anderson Cooper. Reporting from Shay's blog. I have a serious issue to deal with today. One that's close to my heart. Literally, because this "gang" of teenaged boys have hijacked my signature look shown above. First, I sometimes need to go casual. And thank you, I know I look good for a man of my age. But I don't work out for vanity's sake. I dress like this and look like this because I never know when I might need to lend a helping hand to earthquake victims or run from gun-toting rebels. When these things happen, I turn to my casual wardrobe closet and grab a t-shirt and jeans. My look says, "I sometimes need to get my hands dirty, to bring you- my viewers- the truth through feet on the ground reporting." Little boys on the book cover...Your look says, "I watch too much Jersey Shore."

Second, I interview world leaders. I travel around the world for my stories. I know the name of the capital city of any country you could name. Try me. "What's the capital of Ethiopia?" Addis Ababa. I've even been there. I can pronounce "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad" correctly. (The President of Iran, in case you didn't know. Who, by the way, I interviewed.) So, when I wear a nipple-T, it says, "I sometimes need to relax after a hard day of travelling through the hills of Afghanistan or crawling through rubble." It says, "I'm smart and sensitive, yet I also relate to the common man." When you do it, boys? It says, "I like to buy clothes that come in 3 packs".

I'd like to wrap up this segment by stating, "I know fashion." My mother- Gloria Vanderbilt- was a fashion icon. Not only that, but your mother or maybe even grandmother, probably had my mom's signature on her butt. Yes, that Gloria Vanderbilt whose name has graced many a pair of jeans. I'd dare say millions of pairs. See...I own my own suits and tuxedos (designer, of course) . I have the phone numbers of world famous fashion designers on my cell phone. So when I wear a t-shirt, I'm making a fashion statement. It says, "I'm comfortable in my own skin." When you do it, little boys? It says, "I picked this t-shirt off my floor. It passed the smell test. I put it on." In any case, I respectfully ask that you cease and desist from using my signature look. Coming up next on this blog, the announcement of the runner up in the "I Hate This Cover" of the Month. Back to you, Shay. If your eye is okay. Which I hope it is...

Yes, Anderson. Thank you for covering for me while I iced my eye. The runner-up for this month's "I Hate This Cover" is:

With a slight change of wardrobe and other little tweaks, these books from the same series have managed to sweep even the runner up spot from their competition. I mean, is it me, or is this song going through your head?

Well, if the song wasn't going through your head before, I bet it is now. Which is only fair because I've been humming, or saying this under my breath, "Rico...Suave..." for weeks. And that's why these books are the runners up for September's "I Hate This Cover" of the Month. I think we must now take a respectful pause because this is unprecedented. An author and series has swept the top and runner up spots in the "I Hate This Cover" Awards. 

The Hate Mail Avoidance Section: If you are a rabid fan of this series or are new to my blog, please understand that I'm not attacking the author. That what I'm trying to get at is that a bad and/or cheesy cover can make some people- like me- put books like this on a mental "Books I Won't Read" list. At least until someone writes a post or review about the book and you think, "Wow, that book sounds interesting!!!" Pretty much every book that has been an "I Hate This Cover" of the Month "winner" is a book that I overlooked because I hated the cover, but now plan to read. After another blogger mentioned/reviewed the book and made it sound interesting or great. If you still plan on sending hate mail about this post...send it to Anderson. "Meow", that was catty, Coop!

Update: I actually started the first book in the series as I was writing this post. It's already done and it was good.

Feature and Follow (10)

Feature and Follow is hosted by Parajunkee & Alison Can Read every Friday. Complete Rules and Instructions are here: Feature and Follow

Question: Best Cover? What's the Best Cover of a book you've read and didn't like?

Bunheads by Sophie Flack. Not saying this is my favorite cover ever or that this is the worst book ever. But not only is the cover beautiful, it also conveys that this is a book about ballet. And the cover also captures what has drawn millions of little girls to ballet, including me. That in ballet, you get to be a beautiful princess on stage. But the book...just so disappointing. Not bad, but I thought it would enable me to take a walk down memory lane. Which I couldn't because the main character, who is on the verge of obtaining the dream of every girl who has ever donned a tutu, is coming to the realization that she hates dance. So ballet is portrayed as a life/youth/soul stealing thing. And the ending was just awful.

While you're here, please check out one of my current giveaways:

1. 300 Followers Giveaway: Choice of $15 gift card to Amazon/B&N (US Only) or a book of your choice up to $15 through Book Depository (International) Rules and Entry Here

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Blog Hop Linky

Review: Battle of the Crossdressers

Ah...you put high school and crossdressing together and what do you immediately think about? I spent my teen years in the mid to late 80's. A time when these things happened: MTV, HBO, and VHS tapes. The combination of HBO and being able to rent VHS movies meant this: It's not just Quentin Tarantino who came out of this time period a movie geek. After all, the only reason so many people "get" his movies is that HBO,VHS tapes, and an abundance of free time meant we could watch the same movie(s) 10-20 times. Now, HBO often played B-type movies the most. Which brings us back to crossdressing...

I came across these two books where the (female) main character dresses up like a boy to "infiltrate" a boys' school:  Babe in Boyland by Jody Gehrman and The Academy by Emmaline Andrews.


So of course, my immediate thought was the 1985 movie, "Just One of the Guys".

Now, for some crazy reason, you may not want to read 2 YA books about crossdressing. So, I decided to take one for the team (of readers) and read both of them to let you know which one is most worthy of your limited reading time. Since nothing says high school girl who's a crossdresser like this movie, the winner needs to come closest to the spirit of this movie. Because I've seen it 20 times and consider it to be the Gold Standard of anything to do with teenage crossdressing girls.

1. It needs to be a comedy- of course. Can't help it. Because of this movie, I expect hilarity to ensue once a girl cuts her hair and dons a jock strap. I mean, a girl pretending to be a boy? How's she going to pee, or shower, or handle a PE class of "shirts and skins" basketball where she gets to be "skins"? I mean these are opportunities for comedic gold, right? Um, not in the "The Academy" where these things are occasions for beatings, a knife fight, and an attempted rape. Which, because of my movie memories, was not what I was expecting. Winner: "Babe in Boyland" for being a light, funny read.

2. The "Just a Girl" Effect:

I mean, there needs to be a (good) reason why a girl would want to pretend to be a boy, right? Why else would you cut your hair, wear ugly shoes, and have to use the boys' bathroom. I mean, a boys' public bathroom? It's got to be in the Top 5 Most Disgusting and Smelly things in the world.

Look, in "Boyland", it's almost eerie how similar it is to the movie. Both characters want to win a writing award that they feel they weren't properly considered for...in part because of the whole "Just a Girl" type thing. So in both the movie and "Boyland" they go undercover to get a story about what boys are really like in the hopes of winning a journalism award. In "The Academy", the main character wants to be a space pilot and escape an arranged marriage. And only boys get to train to be pilots...again, not what I was expecting. If you look at the description of the book on Goodreads, it doesn't even mention it was a futuristic world. Not only that, but it wasn't a convincing futuristic world. For the most part, you didn't feel like the author created a new world and when she tried...it felt awkward. Winner: Babe in Boyland 

3. Put a Sock in It:

What we know from "Just One of the Guys" is that the main character must struggle with getting the whole "guy thing" right. And that it's helpful to learn how to walk like a "dude" if you just stuff a sock down your pants. In "Academy", it's pretty much she cuts her hair, ties her boobs down, and...well, that's it. Instant Dude! In "Boyland"...she even uses some glue and fluff to create stubble. Winner: Babe in Boyland. But, I must admit to having some concerns because the book is so similar to the movie.  

The Overall Winner of the "Battle of the Crossdressers", is obviously "Babe in Boyland". It won all categories and deserves this: (from the movie, of course)

But, does "Boyland" too closely resemble "Just One of the Guys"? You know, kind of. As I was reading it, I almost felt like some scenes were lifted straight out of the movie. Like the author had also seen the movie 20+ times like me. But in the end, I thought that "Boyland" was overall charming and entertaining enough in its own right. Now "The Academy" deals with more of the darker issues- like gender identity- than "Boyland". But I honestly don't think it presented those well- it felt awkward. Which makes its sinister tone, kind of pointless. Overall, I'd give "The Academy" a 2 star rating, and "Babe in Boyland" a 3 to 3 1/2 star rating.

Jody Gehrman's Website

Add "The Academy:

Review: Confessions of an Angry Girl by Louise Rozett

Goodreads Summary:

Rose Zarelli, self-proclaimed word geek and angry girl, has some confessions to make…1. I'm livid all the time. Why? My dad died. My mom barely talks. My brother abandoned us. I think I'm allowed to be irate, don't you?

2. I make people furious regularly. Want an example? I kissed Jamie Forta, a badass guy who might be dating a cheerleader. She is now enraged and out for blood. Mine.

3. High school might as well be Mars. My best friend has been replaced by an alien, and I see red all the time. (Mars is red and "seeing red" means being angry—get it?)

Here are some other vocab words that describe my life: Inadequate. Insufferable. Intolerable.

(Don't know what they mean? Look them up yourself.)

(Sorry. That was rude.)

My Review:
Despite feeling a little misled by the book title, overall I liked the book. Why misled? I didn't feel that Rose was an angry, Angry Girl. Especially considering her father died mere months before the story started. Maybe I just knew a lot of angry people. Or my family was right and I was an angry little dwarf during my high school years. (I'm exactly 5 feet tall.) I felt like I spent most of the book waiting to see Rose become the "Angry Girl". So why did I keep reading?

A lot of what went on with Rose and her best friend, Tracy, seemed to perfectly capture the decisions and problems of the teen years. I think that the author really did a good job of capturing the whole sex issue that teenage girls face when, during the novel, Tracy is being pressured by her boyfriend to have sex. And Tracy feeling like, I guess, her and Rose are the only virgins. And they are freshman. Which is really sick and sad. But as a former teacher, I can tell you that every middle school I taught at had quite a few pregnant girls.

I'm putting on my "Mom Hat" now...even though it seems like boys are ready to have sex earlier than girls, they aren't. They just are more open and vocal about the wanting to have sex. Proof? Teen Pregnancy. If boys were truly more mature and developmentally ready to have sex earlier, there wouldn't be a teen pregnancy problem because a mature teen boy would insist that his girlfriend was protected. And that's just protecting your girlfriend at the most basic and minimum level- making sure she doesn't get pregnant or end up with a disease. The fact that many boys can't even meet the basics of respecting their partner means they are in no way ready to protect a girl emotionally from the consequences of having sex. And "Confessions of an Angry Girl" managed to show all of this without getting preachy.

At the end of the book, there's a mention of a second book in this series that will cover Rose's sophomore year in high school- Confessions of an Almost Girlfriend. I'm actually happy to see this because many realistic fiction books are stand alone books. And when you're writing about a teen with problems- alcoholic parent, deceased parent, drug abuse, etc.- it's hard to really wrap that up in one book. Life just isn't that neat. So, I look forward to reading the next books in the series and following Rose all the way through high school.

Overall Rating: 3 stars
Genre Rating: 3 ½ school lockers

Louise Rozett's Website
Louise Rozett's Twitter

Review: Tokyo Heist by Diana Renn

Tokyo Heist by Diana Renn 
Goodreads Summary:

Sixteen-year-old Violet loves reading manga and wearing scarves made from kimono fabric, so she’s thrilled that her father’s new painting commission means a summer trip to Japan. But what starts as an exotic vacation quickly turns into a dangerous treasure hunt.

Her father’s newest clients, the Yamada family, are the victims of a high-profile art robbery: van Gogh sketches have been stolen from their home, and, until they can produce the corresponding painting, everyone's lives are in danger -- including Violet's and her father's.

Violet’s search for the missing van Gogh takes her from the Seattle Art Museum, to the yakuza-infested streets of Tokyo, to a secluded inn in Kyoto. As the mystery thickens, Violet’s not sure whom she can trust. But she knows one thing: she has to solve the mystery -- before it’s too late.

My Review:
Am I being unreasonable? Look, if there's a place name in your book title...Like, say, "Tokyo", I think it creates certain expectations in your readers. I mean, aren't I justified in believing that this book should be set in Tokyo and I should feel like it's set in Tokyo? First, it takes about 1/3 of the book to actually get to Tokyo. Yes, really, Violet spends the first 120 or so pages wandering/investigating in Seattle. Then when she finally gets to Tokyo, it doesn't really feel like she's in Japan. For the most part, the complete lack of "Japanese" atmosphere makes the book seem like it could be set in any large city with a side trip to the city's "Little Tokyo". Why? Violet spends most of the Tokyo visit either in a hotel room or in an office building. I mean, the first meal her dad has in Japan is Teriyaki Chicken with rice. REALLY.

This is the book's whole strategy to making you feel like you're in Japan... "Ohayou gozaimausu, green tea, tatami mat, sushi." Does it feel like you're in Japan or in a Japanese restaurant? Just because you throw in a few Japanese words and places does not mean you have made someone feel like they've taken a trip to Japan. And this book doesn't. There is barely any discernible difference between Seattle and Tokyo.

This is me through most of the book- especially the first third before Violet gets to Japan.

GIFSoup

The only good thing I can say about this book is that it's basically readable...meaning it's good enough to finish. Anything else good? No. The characters were pretty much cardboard cutouts- misunderstood yet secretly talented teen girl for a main character, disinterested and distant dad, etc. And the relationships in the book didn't develop in any way that seemed realistic or natural. For example, Violet and her dad's relationship changed, but they spent very little time together. It seemed like character development was based on plot necessities (what the author needed the characters to do to move the book forward. It comes down to this, I should have gone onto YouTube and watched Japanese Game shows instead of reading this book. I at least would have been pleasantly entertained for a few hours.

Overall Rating: 2 stars
Genre Rating: 2 1/2 magnifying glasses

Feature and Follow (9)

Feature and Follow is hosted by Parajunkee & Alison Can Read every Friday. Complete Rules and Instructions are here:

This week's question: Worst Cover? What's the worst cover of a book you've read and loved?

These are the two that come to mind. Because I recently read them. And because I do a feature called "I Hate This Book of The Month" and they were both "winners"


Something Like Normal won my "I Hate This Cover" of the month in June because I almost didn't read it. Thought it looked like a cheesy romance and decided not to read it based on the cover.



"Otherkin" was my "I Hate This Cover" runner up this month because, well, the cover makes it look like shifter erotica. Which is not my thing....Not that there's anything wrong with that. (Otherkin is a YA book)

While you're here, please check out one of my 3 current giveaways:

1. 300 Followers Giveaway: Choice of $15 gift card to Amazon/B&N (US Only) or a book of your choice up to $15 through Book Depository (International) Rules and Entry Here

2. Win a preorder of Book #3 in Jennifer L. Armentrout's Lux Series,  Opal, through Book Depository. (Open internationally) Rules and Entry for Opal Giveaway

3. Win an autographed (paperback) copy of Taste by Kate Evangelista: Rules and Entry Here

Review: Bare-Naked Lola by Misa Ramirez

Bare-Naked Lola by Misa Bourbon Ramirez
Goodreads Summary:

Meet Dolores 'Lola' Cruz...Going undercover is second nature for Private Investigator Lola Cruz, but she’s out of her league when the case of a murdered Royals Courtside Dancer leads her to a local nudist resort. Parading around the sidelines of Sacramento’s professional basketball scene in a barely-there cheerleading outfit is one thing—but parading around in nothing but a smile?

If she has any chance of hiding this from her traditional family and on-again/off-again boyfriend Jack, she’s going to have to keep a lot more than her duct tape bra and killer dance moves under wraps…

Dislosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher/author via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

My Review:
It's kind of difficult to review mysteries. If you mention something and say it's not a spoiler, then you're basically giving away the fact that that's not a clue/important, etc. Which is a spoiler. So I like to focus on characters because I think that in the modern cozy-type mystery, characters make or break the story. Why? Because most of these are series and you have to like and/or be interested enough in the characters to keep reading the series year after year.

Which brings us back to this series and its main character, Lola. Now, the previous book in the series, Hasta la Vista, Lola!, was released in 2010. Then, no book in 2011. I was disappointed and sad because I really like the MC, Lola. So, I'm very happy that this series is continuing. More importantly- for review purposes- is that I even remember Lola. Now, I read about 400 books a year. I've read 1000's of mysteries. Many of the mysteries blend together and I often can't remember the name of the main character, but I do remember Lola. I love Lola's loving, loud, sweet, and eccentric extended family as much as I love the mystery parts of the book. The one bad thing about this series: not enough of Lola's grandpa. Who I just think is adorable and cute. This is why creating great and memorable characters is so important in a mystery. Every year when you get the latest book in the series, it should be like going to a family reunion. It should feel like visiting and catching up with friends. And this is how that series feels.

Back to this book...in part of it, Lola needs to do some investigation at a nudist resort. Which, um, Yuck. And because Lola shares my feelings about nudist resorts, the scenes there are among the funniest in the book. The nudist colony pretty much freaks Lola out. I think that Lola would agree with my "4 Layers Rule". Which is logical and only right when you think about it. The "4 Layers Rule" is one of the cornerstones of my family's neuroses. The "Rule" states that: "At all times there should be 4 layers of clothing between your genitals and other people's genitals." (Your underwear and pants/dress/skirt and the other person's underwear... 4 layers.) Now obviously a nudist colony violates The Rule in an extreme way and, rightly, this kind of leads to Lola's discomfort with being there. In a humorous way. Just thinking about someone getting all gross and sweaty playing naked volleyball, then going into the (nudist) restaurant and sitting their sweaty...um, butt on a chair...that I would later sit on. {{{Shudder}}}

   

Author's Website
Author's Twitter    

Overall Rating: 3 1/2 stars  
Genre Rating: 4 1/2 Magnifying glasses 

   
The author also writes The Magical Dressmaking Mysteries under the name Melissa Bourbon. This is another great mystery series you should check out. The first book in the series is Pleating for Mercy.